Questions on Marriage Retreat

How do I know this is right for us.

 

We tried therapy before and it didn’t work.

 

We work very close with you to create a experience that is unique to your situation

 

Tradionation therapy is one hour at a time and could take months to get down to the issues. The retreat is 16 hours of counseling to insure that we get to the heart of the problem and start the healing process.

(Questions on Marriage Retreat)

Does romance really have to die?
Questions on Marriage Retreat. Ron and Lexie say  Yes, sadly. I’ve tried to think of a softer way to say that, but all I come up with are new-age platitudes. The Hard Questions first occurred to me when I was thinking about getting married. I was scared. Most of the married couples I knew were either getting a divorce or, even worse, in some kind of lifeless relationship. Sure, I loved my boyfriend, but all these other people were in love when they got married, too. So what would make us different going to Texas marriage retreat?

I realized that none of my past relationships ended due to lack of love—they ended because one of us (OK, me) didn’t love our life together. I didn’t know enough about the life Duncan (now my husband) and I would be sharing. Initially, we asked things like “Will we keep our money together, or separate?” or “Do we have a religion?” or “How comfortable are we with each other’s level of ambition?” When we began to answer, something wonderful happened. We started to get to know each other beyond love and sex.

Now, after six years of marriage, our questions are different, but it’s part of the same process: Figuring out how to translate our love for each other into a life we both love.

You don’t like the concept of relationships as “work,” so why “hard” questions?
Whenever I read “relationships take work,” I always thought, “Uh, no thanks.” To me, that meant things like scheduling time for sex, “date nights,” and pretending to be nice even when I wanted to shriek. Things that felt really fake.

With the Questions, the “work” of being truthful with each other was hard, but it certainly wasn’t phony. It has given our relationship a very healthy edginess—not the kind that comes from jealousy and fights, but the kind that comes from trying to meet every circumstance with awareness and skillful honesty.

Every circumstance?
Well, except when we’re just tired of trying and ignore each other. Sometimes we retreat to our corners. But the questions help us to reconnect, when we’re ready.

When is the best time to ask these questions?
For some, a crisis may precipitate the conversation. For others, it may be a feeling of taking each other for granted, even a tiny bit. Anniversaries are a great time to reflect and take a pulse or new years day when your starting a new year.

If you try to have this conversation too early, you’ll know—the questions will sound silly. And there’s no such thing as “too late,” but the longer you let troublesome issues stew, the harder it will be. Wait until you both have the time and ability to focus. You may want to sit down at the kitchen table with a bottle of wine and run through every question. Or you can take one or two questions at a time, see how that goes.

Is it vital to reach agreement?
Your answers are your answers. You don’t need a laundry list of perfectly synchronized answers. If you happen to agree, that’s great. If you don’t, it’s not the end of the word. Knowing your partner’s thoughts and feelings is a good feeling .

And if discussion is just too uncomfortable, each partner can write down his or her answers, and then swap (or not), or the willing partner can simply keep a journal of answers. Giving language to these feelings in any form can be beneficial.

Isn’t this a little scary? What if these questions uncover something we don’t want to hear?
Ron and Lexie say Our partner is going to disappoint us, make us mad, even bore us! It pays to find a way to discuss our feelings with both honesty and kindness. Better to talk now than to wait until someone gets really mad or becomes disconnected. Texas marriage retreat we create an atmosphere where differences and fears surface in a way that creates more intimacy instead of less.

At Texas Marriage we ask the the Hard Questions

 

2. What have you learned that irritates, upsets or frightens you?

3. Are you satisfied with the amount of time we spend together? The amount of time we spend separately?

4. Have we had any major life shocks? If so, what did we learn about ourselves, each other, our relationship?

1. What have you learned to appreciate about me that you didn’t know when we first married?

5. What dreams or expectations did we have about married life? Which have been fulfilled and which have not?

6. What have I given up for you? How do I feel about it?