A couples retreat might be right for you if you and your spouse are in the midst of a marriage crisis, you are certainly aware of the emotional strain that it places on both of you. Unfortunately, you are not the only ones affected. It is important to realize the emotional impact those struggles are having on your children and family. At Texas marriage retreat we give you the tools to repair you marriage at a privet couples retreat.
Each child and each family are obviously unique, with different strengths and weaknesses, different personalities and temperaments, and varying degrees of social, emotional and economic resources, as well as differing family situations prior to divorce. That’s why we use the prepare and enrich assessment to understand your unique differences to help you to avoid the pitfalls during your couples retreat.
Research demonstrates that, when a child experiences parental divorce, there are significant losses that must be acknowledged.
The child may lose time with each parent
1. Parents must adjust to their own losses as well as to their new role as a divorced parent. Thus, parents may not have as much emotional strength and time to invest in parenting, i.e., the parents experience a “moratorium on parenting.”
2. Although laws are gradually changing, most children spend more time with one custodial parent and obviously have less time with each parent overall.
3. For most children, this means much less time spent with their fathers.
4. The child may also spend less time with their mother as she may need to work longer hours to support the family.
The child may lose economic security
1. Custodial mothers experience the loss of 25 to 50% of their pre-divorce income.
a. Women who divorced in the past 12 months were more likely to receive public assistance than divorced men (23% versus 15%).
b. Even five years after the divorce, mothers who remain single have only risen to 94% of their pre-divorce income, while continuously married couples have increased their income.
c. In 2000, the median income of single-mother households was 47% that of married-couple households.13
2. Only 50% of custodial mothers have child support agreements, and 25% of mothers who have
been granted support receive no payments.
3. Custodial fathers also experience financial loss; although they tend to recover financially more quickly and rarely receive child support.
4. Loss of income may lead to increased work time for parents, as well as a change in residence.
5. Children living with single mothers are much more likely to live in poverty than children living with both married parents.14
a. In 2009, children living with a divorced parent were more likely to live in a household below the poverty level (28%) compared with other children (19%)
6. Unmarried women are more likely to remain in poverty compared with married individuals and unmarried men.16
a. Approximately 32.2% of people in single-mother families in poverty during the first two months of 2009 continued to be in poverty for 36 months. In contrast, only 18.7% of people in married-couple families in poverty during this same time remained in poverty for 36 months.
7. Children living with single parents are less likely to experience upward financial mobility.
a. The fraction of children living in single-parent households is the strongest negative correlate of upward income mobility according to one study.
b. The percentage of married families in a community also contributes to future upward economic mobility of all children in the community.
The child may lose emotional security
1. The child may have a weakened relationship with his/her mother.
a. Divorced mothers are less able to provide emotional support.
2. The child may have a weakened relationship with his/her father.
a. Divorced fathers spend less time with their children.
b. A study in 1996 found that fewer than half of children living with a divorced mother had seen their fathers at all in more than one year, and only one in six saw their fathers once a week.
c. Divorced fathers are rated as less caring by their adolescents.
d. The child may find it more difficult to trust his/her father.
3. The child may have a weakened relationship with grandparents or relatives – especially the parents of the noncustodial parent.
4. The child may lose family traditions, celebrations, and daily routines. Even adult children whose adult parents divorced later in life experienced the loss of family traditions and disruption of celebrations.
5. The change in residence may lead to loss of friends, school environment, and other support systems.
The child may have decreased social and psychological maturation
1. College students whose parents were divorced were more likely to experience verbal aggression and violence from their partner during conflict resolution.
2. Children of divorced parents may have lower scores on self-concept and social relations.
3. Anxiety and depression seem to worsen after the divorce event.
The child may change his or her outlook on sexual behavior
1. There is increased approval (by children of divorced parents) of premarital sex, cohabitation and divorce.
2. There is earlier sexual debut.
3. Girls whose fathers left the home before they were five years old were eight times more likely to become pregnant as adolescents than girls from intact families.
4. Boys similarly have earlier sexual debut and higher rates of sexually transmitted disease when they have experienced divorce in their family.
5. As adults, the female children of divorced parents experience less trust and satisfaction in romantic relationships.
6. The children of divorced parents are less likely to view marriage as permanent and less likely to view it as a lifelong commitment.
7. The children of divorced parents are two to three times more likely to cohabit and to do so at younger ages.
The child may lose his/her religious faith and practice
1. Following a divorce, children are more likely to abandon their faith.
2. As adults, those raised in step-families are less likely to be religious than those raised by both biologic parents.
3. Since religious practice has benefits in areas such as sexual restraint, the child of divorce may lose this protection.
The child may lose cognitive and academic stimulation
1. Children in divorced homes have less language stimulation.
2. Children of divorced parents are more likely to have lower GPAs and be asked to repeat a year of school.
3. A study of 11 industrialized countries showed that children living in two-parent families had higher math and science scores.
4. Children in single-mother families were twice as likely to have been absent from school for 11 or more days in the past year due to illness or injury (6%) compared with children in two-parent families (3%).
5. Children of married parents attained higher income levels as adults.
The child may be less physically healthy
1. Fewer children in nuclear families were considered to be in poor health than children in non-nuclear families (12% of children in nuclear family versus 22% of children of single parent).
a. Emergency room usage is higher for children in all other family types over that experienced by children in nuclear families.
b. Children in nuclear families were less likely than children in other family types to have a learning disability or ADHD regardless of parents’ education, income, or area of residence.
2. Children living with married parents are less likely to be abused or neglected. In one study, the relative risk that children from a single parent family would be physically abused or neglected more than doubled.
The child may have a higher risk of emotional distress
1. A study of almost one million children in Sweden demonstrated that children growing up with single parents were more than twice as likely to experience a serious psychiatric disorder, commit or attempt suicide, or develop an alcohol addiction.
2. Children of single parents are twice as likely to have emotional and behavioral problems – 8% versus 4% for children from two parent households.
Avoid all this with a couples retreat at Texas Marriage retreat
Call 599.233.5992 and make your appointment today