All couples start out their married life with the best intentions. Their love and devotion to each other is the biggest factor that compels them to seek marriage and spend the rest of their lives in harmonious unity.But as we take a look around us, every day we hear a new story of someone’s marriage falling apart. You will see couples miserable, trying to figure out the source of their unhappiness. And unfortunately, many of these marriages end up breaking homes and hearts.Upon hearing these stories new couples might say a silent prayer to the Lord to save them from ever being in the same situation. But as divorce rated keep growing, couples might wonder how to actually identify signs that tell their marriage is in trouble.We would like to clarify that no marriage is the same or follows a particular pattern. The following signs are a more broad generalization of what areas any trouble might exist in.
Serving your Spouse
While marriage is a union of two equal individuals, it sometimes calls for sacrificial love where one spouse might need to put the other first. It definitely does not mean ignoring personal needs. But it simply means that both spouses need to respect each other’s needs and make efforts to value them.If either you or your spouse finds yourself unable to love each other without some sense of sacrifice, you might want to sit down and discuss how you can do more for each other. Remember that in the Bible, Ephesians 5, we are called to sacrificially love our spouses.
A marriage requires that both spouses hold each others’ opinions and desires as equally important as their own. Selfishness can quickly become a big problem in a marriage as one spouse grows to dismiss what the other thinks is important. Doing so will only insinuate a sense of being unimportant in the other souse as you think of yourself being right all the time. Habitually outweighing your spouse’s opinions and desires to put your first will damage the marriage.
Lack of Physical Intimacy
Physical intimacy and sex often become a concerning factor for many marriages, especially after the couples has kids. A couple’s sex life is a good indicator of the marriage’s health as it shows that they both still feel connected. A hectic work life and children are often the cause of a dwindling sex life for many otherwise healthy marriages.But for others emotional disconnections, infidelity, and/or even pornography become a problem. If you find yourself in this position, then make it a point to schedule time for you and your spouse to reconnect.
Lastly, one of the biggest causes of trouble in marriage is unresolved conflict. While small spats and arguments are common, even healthy, in marriages; leaving them unresolved can turn them poisonous. Instead of fuming away after a fight, never discussing a solution, try to communicate and resolve the problem no matter how big or small. Leaving an argument hanging will only generate suppressed anger in another situation and make it worse.As the Bible advices in Ephesians 4:2 and 4:26-27, try to be humble and patient with each other and prevent from bitterness to grow and hurt the marriage.Another solution for you and your spouse is a marriage retreat where you can get counseling and some quality time to talk these issues out. Texas Marriage Retreat offers an affordable package that gives couples the chance to escape, reconnect and strengthen their union according to the Lord’s word.
Free consultation, Talk to a counselor today to see if a retreat is right for you.